


Sick and Afraid to Show It

by a_mind_at_work



Series: Anxiety Laf [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Gen, M/M, Sickfic, kinda!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:24:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8862655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mind_at_work/pseuds/a_mind_at_work
Summary: This was one of my favorites to write!
Come hang with me on Tumblr! @undiscoveredstory





	

It’d started with a runny nose. That was nothing alarming, though. Everyone got runny noses at this time of year, as the seasons rapidly fluctuated from summer to fall to winter, sometimes going through all three in one week, it felt. Alexander had had a runny nose and cough for much longer. Laf was fine. Absolutely fine.

So what if he’d started to feel achy, like he always did when he got a fever? It didn’t necessarily mean he had one. And he wasn’t going to check.

It was a chilly Thursday morning and he was sitting in homeroom next to Eliza and John, who were chatting about something stupid Alex had done or said or meme-d at some ungodly hour of the morning. Laf knew it’d probably been in the group chat, but he’d been too tired to check. Alex always did stuff like that, anyway. He could miss out on one of his early morning antics.

He was jolted from his thoughts by someone shaking his arm. “Earth to Laf!” John said. “Hey man, you okay? You look kinda…”

“I’m fine!” Laf said quickly, forcing a smile on his face. “Just tired. You guys may get bombarded by Alexander’s texts but it is _I_ who has to live with him!”

Eliza and John were laughing and Laf let out the tiniest sigh of relief. He felt slightly guilty, but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if he’d lied. He was _fine_.

He didn’t see his friends again until lunch. He sat down with them just like he normally did and pulled out the sandwich Martha had made him–– the same kind she’d been making him for a few weeks now. He stared down at it and suddenly wanted to cry. The thought of eating it when he had no energy and his throat was scratchy and his muscles ached was not pleasant. But he didn’t want his friends to think something was wrong when _he was fine_.

So he unwrapped the sandwich and stared at it some more. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring at it for an unusual amount of time until Alex poked him in the stomach.

“What’s so interesting about that sandwich?”

Laf blinked at Alex, confused for a moment. It was that moment that gave him away.

“Uh, Laf? You feeling okay?”

“Oui, oui, mon ami, I am fine.”

“I see bullshit!” Herc yelled from the other side of the table.

“And I smell it!” John added.

Laf rolled his eyes.

“Roll your eyes all you want, French Fry, but we’re onto you,” Herc said, biting down on a french fry.

“Savage,” John whispered.

“Let me feel your forehead,” Alex said.

Laf pulled away. “Non, I will not be treated like, like––”

“Like the child you’re being?” Herc said with a glare.

“Damn,” John said through a mouthful of chips.

Alex seized the moment to put his wrist to Laf’s forehead.

“Alexander!” Laf shrieked.

“Gilbert!” Alex shrieked back.

John nearly spat out the water he was drinking.

“You should go home,” Alex concluded. “You’re burning up.”

Laf glared at Alex. “Says the boy who has actually gone to school while sick with pneumonia.”

“I didn’t realize I had it!”

“Yeah, he’s stupid, you’re not stupid,” John said.

“JOHN LAURENS!” Alex gasped. “Betrayed by my own boyfriend.”

“Y’all can have your lover’s quarrel somewhere else. Right now we gotta take care of my French Fry,” Herc said, standing up.

“I’m _fine_!” Laf exclaimed.

“Liar, liar,” John singsonged.

“Head on fire!” Alex said.

“Savage,” John muttered.

“Stop saying ‘savage,’” Alex said.

“ _Savage_ ,” John whispered in his boyfriend’s direction.

Herc scoffed at the two boys as he pulled Lafayette to his feet and led him out of the cafeteria. Once they were out of the noisy room, Herc stopped Laf in an empty hallway, his arm on Laf’s, as if he were holding him up.

“Why didn’t you just say something? To your parents? To me or Alex or John?”

Laf looked down at his feet. “I-I… I didn’t want to be a bother,” he admitted.

“Oh, babe,” Herc said softly. He pulled Laf close to him. “You’re never a bother.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust any of you, it’s, it’s… the voice in my head, non? Saying _do not reveal that do not bother them_ and I’m stupid. I listen to it.”

Herc held Laf an arms length away now, his hands firmly grasping the sick boy’s shoulders as he stared into his eyes.

“Babe. No. You are _not_ stupid. You have anxiety. You can’t fight it 24/7, and nobody expects you to. I’m glad we found out, but I’m not upset with you for being unable to tell me. Maybe that’s something you and I can work on once you’re feeling better?”

Laf smiled and nodded. “Oui, I would like that,” he said.

“Me too,” Herc said, taking Laf’s hand in his. “Now let’s get you to the nurse.”

With that, Herc led Lafayette off down the hallway, and, even though he _did not_ feel fine at the moment, Laf had no doubt that he would eventually. It was only a matter of time. (And maybe some of Martha’s veggie and bean soup, too.)

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my favorites to write!
> 
> Come hang with me on Tumblr! @undiscoveredstory


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